“Who are you waiting for?” she asks.
I take a good look at her face. Her dark brown hair is tied up in a bun, but not in the way you usually see those young girls of her age do it. Her tied bun looked more like maa’s hair tied into a bun. There are a few strands frizzy and dried, flying off as if they are naked wires, searching for plugs. I laugh remembering how mother always complained that she looked like a grandmother from behind when she tied her bun like that. She must be looking like one even now. My eyes fall on her forehead. It is covered with tiny indistinct spots, almost invisible if you aren’t concentrating hard enough. There are dark bags hanging below her eyes because she had lost sleep for a couple of weeks. Although a sleep lover, she’d been refusing to sleep for some unknown reasons to both of us. Her nose is sunburned and a little tanned than the rest of her skin. There are light speckles and scars in her face. Sometimes, I feel like if I looked hard enough I could find more furrows. But right now, she looks tired and worried. Even as she looks straight back at me, I somehow feel that she is looking beyond me, searching for answers, seeking escape, looking for a way out. She is tired and worried.
“You,” I finally say with a sigh. “It’s time for you to come home.”
Because I’ve realized that even the girl in the mirror needs a reminder of the love you have for her. Especially during time like this.
Home is 10.1 inch screen
where I can see you and talk to you.
So I wait, everyday
All those waiting go to waste,
You do not show up,
as you sleep on your way,
which is okay, I understand.
But then, sometimes,
You come late,
And you don’t inform beforehand
about where you’d gone
And when you’d come
Home then becomes a nightmare.
I sit there,
Making excuses and reasons
But you don’t show up at all.
I learn the next day that
You were busy
Doing something else.
And you didn’t think
It was necessary to inform me
About you being late.
To come home
to 10.1 inch screen.
I waited for you to come
but you let me down,
And this ain’t the first time at all.
Mama told me not to trust you
all men are same, she’d said.
They promise to meet you up on a Saturday
but forget about it when they have meetings with someone else
they tell you to be there when everyone’s gone
but they are the first one to leave you broken
they tell you they’d be friends with you
in case you ever forget them from Alzheimer’s
but they are the ones to delete you from their friends list
the first chance they get
they tell you they’d write a story for you
but from then on you will never hear about it again.
Mama told me not to trust you.
but I didn’t listen to her
and I should have.
the first time I waited for you and you didn’t show up
a teacher had to drop me off to home.
the second time, I asked a friend to lend me few bucks to take a bus
the third time?? I was already big enough to walk home
yet there was fourth time and fifth time and probably 100th after that.
And still I waited for you, for all this time.
People say do what your mama says
and I should have
but i didn’t
maybe that’s why
I keep on waiting for you
and you keep on failing me.
Ever since, Sajha Cooperatives re-introduced Sajha Buses in Kathmandu, almost everyone has a wish to ride it. And yours truly is no exception. So I had been waiting and waiting for a perfect time to ride the most awaited and acclaimed transportation .
Actually a friend of mine and I decided to take the ride together but every time we waited for the bus, it never arrived. And because we were getting late we had to take micro-buses and tempos. My friend who was the original planner to ride the bus together got chance to ride with his mom and sister when returning home because that’s what his mom and sister wanted. And I was kinda okay with that thinking now. 😀
Anyway, I got a text this afternoon from the very same friend to meet him in Lagankhel so that we could take the ride back home and I happily agreed. But at Lagankhel, like always the bus didn’t arrive. So, we waited and waited and waited. His little sister, me and him. Slowly, he being very impatient person, started getting irritated. Time and again, he told us to go in micro-bus but me and his sis didn’t agree. Although we were getting late, we both were adamant to ride the bus. And finally after what seemed like ages, came a bus but went away without stopping saying it was going for oil and would come back soon. But it never did. And then after what seemed like eons again, another bus arrived and this time brought its friend too. One of them quickly drove away while the other one refused to let us in.
‘Our duty is over. Some other bus will arrive” the bus helper said. But the crowd who had been waiting for hours refused to believe that another bus will arrive and started getting infuriating. The bus, thus had to let us all in although the driver was still complaining about not getting to eat on time. The journey of the Sajha Experience then started smoothly before getting disrupted again for a while at Sajha’s Office in Pulchowk. But it didn’t last for long and the journey resumed.
This was one of the nicest bus ride I ever had with comfortable seats and the TV. The only problem was because of the crowd, it was hard to get down. But besides that everything was smooth and amazing. I recommend every one to start riding Sajha not only for experience but also for everyday life. The transportation facilities in Kathmandu is worse but Sajha makes us breathe in relief. I wish Sajha a great success in future but they should make sure that the staffs get enough time to rest.
A.N: This blog was supposed to be posted two days back but because the writer tends to get lazy and distracted, she could finally finish this. 😀 sorry about that 🙂