Dear little girl,

I don’t know what it likes to live with a scarred face. Not that I don’t have scars in mine, but they are little and most of the time, invisible to many. I have an average face. A face that gets lost in the crowd because it’s neither pretty nor ugly. A face that doesn’t get much attention. And I am just thankful to the crowd.

I realize that you might not be able to get away in the crowd now. Your friends will ask you about the scar in your lips and even give some comments about it. Your crowd will always talk about your scar, your neighbors will tell a story about it to their kids and your teachers will ask you every year when you go to higher level. There will be people who will laugh at it, people who will give an awkward smile because they feel sorry for you, they will murmur to themselves with a pitiful eyes and some will just remain silent.

You might find yourself alone in those times. You might be jealous of those pretty girls with flawless faces that have no scars. You might hate all those attentions your scar brings to you, all for the wrong reasons. You might get angry at yourself at times, at your fate, at your face but mostly at your scars. You might cry to sleep, you might think your mother and brother doesn’t understand you, that no one really knows what you are feeling.

But believe me, you are not alone. And I am not just bluffing or telling this in a vague term. I have a friend with an incomplete cleft in her upper lips and she shares how she is scared to meet new people because they will be asking her about it. Unlike those people are me who simply doesn’t notice it till she mentions. I have another friend who loves counting scars on his face and recount the stories. But reaching to his level will be a long and hard journey.

You will have to pass the point where you are affected by comments from people. You will have to accept the scars and even love them. Be proud of them. You will have to believe that people will love you despite those scars. And not doubt them at all. You will have to learn how to love yourself, over and over again. To reach his level, you will have to have patience and endurance and they are one hard thing to have. But that doesn’t mean you will not reach that level at all. You will, one day. If you let yourself to reach there.

And even if you cannot, even if you feel insecure and inferior and utterly helpless, know that you are not alone. Even if you feel unpretty and ugly, it’s okay. I will forever remind you of how this will never matter, how this is just a stupid perception people have, you have. How, what really matters is what you are from inside – a strong, independent, creative genius – who is loved by her people.

Know that what you look and how many scars you have isn’t a really big deal in this world. The big deal is how many people smiled because of something you did or said, how many of them feels great when you are around because you are always making them laugh with your silly antics and dances and how they will always love you for this.

I hope, when you are my age, or even before that, you will realize that all this flawless beauty is fake. What is really beautiful is scars and wounds. What is really real is being human with flaws, who is not afraid to make mistakes. What is really perfect is being imperfect.




An open letter to the New Yorker

Dear The New Yorker,

I had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Ever since I first learnt about your existence, searched for you on the web, read few articles and went like – Woah, I need to read more, found another article that promised to be interesting but it wasn’t accessible. And since then, I have come across hundreds of other articles  and stories that were inaccessible. But now that you guys have made those after 2007 accessible, my friends and I have been jumping with joy. But then we have a problem – we don’t know which article to read.

At least I am scared that the trial period (this summer/three months) will be long gone before I can finish even a dozen stories. Because there are so many of them. I always had this problem since I was a kid. I can’t decide which book to read when I go to a library or a book store. Most of the times, I come back empty-handed from a bookstore for I couldn’t choose one book over the other. I always get confused, excited, awestruck and overwhelmed at the same time when I am given choices – choices of thousands or even more things to read/do.

But this time, I am planning to kickback all the emotions and start reading stories. At least one per day. So that I can finish 90 stories in these three months. Many other websites like Buzzfeed and Slate have already published the must read fictions/stories while the open access is still there. I am planning to follow them through and read as much as possible.

I am not writing this open letter to share my reading plan with you guys. I am writing this to thank you for doing this. I am sure it means a lot to people like me who have limited access to magazines and newspapers from the West. Most of the times, all the stories that we get to read is through websites. Which of course do not provide us full access if we are not subscribers. Which further means we are left out. And then you guys made most of the articles (almost all since 2007) freely accessible and that kind of changed all the system.

This decision you guys made, showed how you really respect and love your readers while I also know the original idea behind this. I know that you want to go like Times (in case of website accessibility) but still giving at least a summer to go through your archives, falling in love with your stories and getting a chance to explore is a lot for me. It is a lot for others too. That’s why we all are excited and happy and nervous at the same time. That’s why I want to make use of this opportunity as much as possible. That’s why I am indeed very grateful to you.

So dear folks at The New Yorker, thank you for this chance. Now let me go and check the list so that I can read one more story before I go to sleep.



Thanks to You, They are Coming Back to Me Again.

Today, you reminded of something I thought I no more had in me. You made me realize something that I wish it wasn’t true. You opened my eyes, my mind and my heart with the things you told me, with the things we discussed. I thought I had killed it long time back; but today, thanks to you, I was proven wrong again.

Today, I felt a joy I had long forgotten about. I discovered a part of me that I had never seen. I thought I would never see it again, I would never feel again but I did. I thought I was over it, but today it all came back to me again. Today you brought out the child in me, the child, I somehow cannot be.

I had seen a dream when I was young. A dream which was my gateway to the world. And which I thought I could fight the world for. A dream I gave birth to but was crushed by my own hand. A dream I killed. But today, you told me dreams never get killed, they just get changed. So, I was forced to think, “Is it still there in me? Can I go back and make it alright again?”

As I grew, I changed my dreams mainly because I was scared. Scared of following it and making it come true. I once read that dreams mean work. So, I guess I was scared and lazy too, to work for that dream. May be that’s why I gave it up, long time ago. May be I wasn’t trying hard enough, may be I was not trying at all because that’s what I do. Giving up stuffs when I am almost close to achieve it.

And today, after all this time, you made me realize that I was a coward. Not fighting for a dream I really believed in. Not trying hard enough. Today, you made me see that I was not strong enough at that time. I was confused and perplexed. Today you made me see things I was trying to avoid for a long time.

So, today I wondered for a while, about going back to the time and space when I decided to let go of that dreams. It’s not that I don’t like where I am. Apart from few moments when I’m like “What the hell I am doing here?” I do love my today’s life. But today, I started thinking “What if?” But you tell me that there is still time, that it’s never too late. But then, I have a different dream today. And I have no idea how to relate those dreams.Then you say that there is a way. That one day I’ll figure it all out. I hope you are correct, but deep in my heart, I know you are, because you always are.

#This post was for YOU.