Random Thoughts

Sometimes, I think I have to be strong. Sometimes, I think I can only be so much strong. Sometimes, I feel that I need to let go of everything. Sometimes, I think I need to hold on tightly, afraid of losing the grip. Sometimes, I tell myself, I need to be there for people. Sometimes, I say I need to walk away, just like that. Sometimes, I am thinking that I am being just an attention seeker, a drama queen; asking people to listen to me, read my ordinary stories made dramatic by me. Sometimes, I think I just need help. Sometimes, I think I am just going mad – with constant mood swings, changing perspective. Sometimes, I think I am already mad. Sometimes, I want to have amnesia. Sometimes, I am afraid I will forget everything one day.

I have always lived in debate. And it is just increasing day by day. Maybe the demons are strong now. Accepting them and giving them space was a bad idea maybe. But what if they’d eaten my inside at that time. When they were little and I was young. Sometimes, I think I have nurtured them so much that they take hold of me. Sometimes, I think I can still take hold of them.

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