Have I Failed?

I feel sad and sorry at the same time. Because I think I have failed. You and me and the same time. And I feel that I have let both of us down. Very badly.

I always thought I was born to spread love. To spread happiness. To diminish darkness. Everywhere I go. Even you tell me that I am your sunshine. But sadly this sunshine has failed to brighten your days.

I tried alright. Every time you came to me with your frustrations and your anger. About this world. And I won’t stop trying. Because even if I may fail time and again, I know that this all will affect you even if little.

You tell me how everyone is selfish in this world. And how the world is cruel. I agree because I have witnessed all of them. The selfishness and the cruelty of this world. I myself fall under this. I also agree when you say anger is necessary. Being a person who focuses on feeling things and being the one who wants to write about these feelings, I say anger is necessary too. But anger should be temporary I think. While you think it should be permanent. You tell me that if anger gets replaced then one doesn’t get the same energy to revolt. I cannot say it’s completely true nor can I completely agree with you. And when you tell me that you will keep on scratching your wound so that you will keep on bleeding, I cry a little.

I cry a little as I find myself failing again. I cry a little as I see you engulfed in anger and frustrations. I cry a little when you say you don’t want anything to do with love. I cry a little when you say you are tired of everything. When you say you cannot see the beauty in this world. When you don’t feel happiness.

That’s why I think I am a failure. Because, I can no longer inspire you and probably thousands of others just like you. Because I cannot share my happiness, or the reason for my smile too. I cannot explain why I find myself smiling in the middle of the gloomy days even when it’s the simplest thing one could come across. I cannot take the sadness out of your life, and even if you called me sunshine, I cannot bring the light.


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