“Love me.” His eyes spoke to me.
But love is the last thing I can do. I came from a place where they taught you to hate and not love. Where all you learnt was despise if not hate. Where your smile turned into an evil grin and where coldness prevail throughout the year. So, how could I love him. I never learnt to love or care.
“Love me.” His eyes shone again.
I wish I could tell him that love was not my thing. I wish I could turn away from him, that charming face, that amazing soul. He taught me how to smile alright. No more evil grins from me. And he does seem to brighten up my day with just popping up in front of me. And I feel warm every time he holds me close and holds my hand as we walk across the street.
“Love me.” His eyes sparkled.
I wish I could. It’s not that I haven’t tried. I did but every time I let a part of myself fall, I get scared and I start doubting. What if he would break me more than my mentor did. Every time I feel like I am letting him in, the other side of me shuts him out.
I wish I could. But I cannot. I just don’t know how to.