I couldn’t leave him. No matter what people said. No matter how much he had pained me, I know I couldn’t. I felt as if he would be helpless without me; that he would not survive if I wasn’t there for him. Also, I blame myself for putting him in this situation. Thus, even if to repent those deeds; I couldn’t leave him, not in this condition.
I had left him though. Once when I was young and when I thought that the world is in my hand. I was 15, and he was the reason I had left. My mother, his wife, had died when I was born. And since then, I never got a chance to be near him. He was always out and I thought he hated me. So, when a friend suggested me to runaway, I did. I ran away.
The city was a cruel place though. There were days, when I wish I could go back home but then I told myself “If he had cared about me, he would have found me by now or at least searched for me.” Slowly, days turned to weeks and months to years. I continued to struggle in the harsh city life.
After around five years, I bumped into an old classmate of mine from the school days. Seeing me, his face brightened up; I could see a smile appearing in the corner of his lips. We talked for a while. I told him about my day-to-day life and he told me about his. I found out that he now had started teaching in our own school. While I was desperately trying to avoid the news about the man I had left, he was desperately trying to say it.
“Your father needs you.” He finally spat out.
“What?” I pretended as if I didn’t hear.
“I said you need to come home. Your father needs you.”
“He doesn’t need me. He never did.” I disagreed.
“But now he does. He is in a mental asylum; you need to see him at least.”
“But I have my work here, I cannot leave here.”
“You can work there, better work. Please come home, just for once.”
“Don’t do but. You might be his last hope.”
“Okay then,” I finally agreed, I had to, it seems. “I’ll come for a week. Till then you tell me what happened on our way.”
I learnt that the man I left behind had gone into depression the moment I left him. I thought that he didn’t love me; that he didn’t want to see my face and hence he left home early in the morning and came home late at night. I was wrong. Little did I know that, he had to work long hours to keep me in school. Little did I know that he watched me sleep every night and whispered into my ears that he loved me. Sometimes, he even cried, I learnt, for he couldn’t give me as much time as I required and deserved.
So, I couldn’t leave him. Not when the week passed by and I got the call from the city. Not when they told me it was not worth it, bringing him home and taking care of him. They said he was in an incurable condition now. I knew I had to be here with him not only because he needed me but wanted me as well.
So, when my friend who had brought me home a year ago, asked me to marry him, I refused. I told him I couldn’t leave my old man no matter for what and for whom. And he said, “I understand.” with a smile.
The following video has been a great help in writing this post. Thank you “NIGHT’ for the amazing song 🙂