I put the phone down and thought for a while. For a long time, probably since my childhood days, they have been trying to tell me this thing. But like with every other topic I don’t want to talk about or think about, I had ignored them. But today, it was the voice outside, it was him.
“It’s easy to point fingers at someone when you cannot see yours.”
These are the exact words he mumbled out. These are the exact words the voices have been telling me every time I pointed the flaws and mistakes of someone, every time I blamed someone for something that went wrong. I have been doing that ever since I as a child. Blaming people or situation for things that did not go right. I love doing that, playing the blame game. It’s never my fault, I never admit my mistakes.
But I know that this is wrong. I know that I should stop making excuses and accept the fact that I might be wrong, that this is my fault. but I cannot. no matter how many times I’ve tried, I cannot. Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough, maybe I haven’t tried at all. I have always shied away from responsibilities. Hence, the excuses and the blames.
But right now, I feel bad all of sudden. The way I’m seeing things right now. I feel bad for all those people I have blamed all of my life for all the failures and wrongs. I feel guilty for putting them in a situation that they might not have deserved. And I’m determined to change. Even if change is not my cup of tea, I am vying for it. Even if I hate change, I cannot really adjust with it (another excuse) I will try. I hope you will help.
suskeraharu 